Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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