you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
