There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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