so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
