In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
