How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He passed out mid-signature
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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