Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
