clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
