My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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