Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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