And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
