thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
