this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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