Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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