Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
