just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
