The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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