your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
