i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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