after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
