Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
lol hangovers are for mortals.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
