The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize