yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
