I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
