So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
