I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
