just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I am naked and annoyed.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize