Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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