There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Houston, we have a blender
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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