i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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