this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
where am i from again
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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