I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
