i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize