Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
