I could make wine with my vomit
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Come share oat with me in your robe
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
