If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
