It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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