Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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