Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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