I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
