he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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