I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
