why didn't you poke me back
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
