Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize