Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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