Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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