I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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