I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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