I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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