I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
