Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
