Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize