Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
How does it feel to date your dad?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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