do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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