How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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