just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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