mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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