What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
